Sometimes people break up not when they’ve fallen out of love, but while they’re standing right in the middle of it. And I’ve yet to encounter a more heartbreaking truth.
It’s been a year, and I still find myself missing you.
Maybe it’s something about first loves
I didn’t love you, but not because I didn’t want to
I didn’t love you, because I know what love is and what we shared wasn’t really love
I didn’t love you, and till this day I yearn for the chance to have you beside me
the chance to know you, and learn to love you
a chance we never had the privilege of.
It’s been a year, and the ‘what ifs’ still haunt me
I wonder if I’ll ever forget you
I wonder if these regrets will ever fade away
I’ve come to learn many things in the almost-18 years I’ve lived
but I still can’t comprehend
how someone can come into your life all so suddenly
consume your thoughts
change your perspective of the world
make you feel things you’ve never felt before
and then leave,
a blazing storm in their path
It’s been a year and I’d thought there’d be someone new
because how could something so
be so real?
and yet as I write this, the same old pain stirs in this heart
the kind of pain I’d thought I’d forgotten.
I miss you
I miss having you by my side
those memories pop into my head every now and then
they say you’re just a boy
but nobody has made me feel like you do in those few short days
not even close.
I miss the giddy feeling of my heart skipping a beat,
the feeling of laughing with you,
the feeling that everything in the world is right when I’m beside you
You made me feel such a pure, innocent, blissful, feeling
when I had storms and broken pieces and battle scars inside
I miss you
I just miss you
And I feel so silly, hoping that someday we’d meet in the future
that one day we’d be meeting for the first time again
And this time, we would have a chance
that fate would no longer be a thief
Maybe it’s something about first loves.
They say it first love hurts the most
but what about almost-first loves?
What about could-be first loves that slipped away
before you ever even got to love?
It’s been a year, and it still hurts.
I hope you’re well, I really do
and if you ever think about me
if we ever find our way back to each other
I hope you remember me.